I wish I wasn’t addicted to Facebook, in fact I lie to myself that I even have an obsession with Facebook; although I guess denial is the first tell-tale sign of a true addict. There are many times, when I really should be doing something with my life, that I’ll be scrolling through my smartphone’s constant newsfeed thinking to myself ‘I’m glad I don’t have an addiction to this otherwise I’d never get anything done’.
I have noticed recently, posts on my newsfeed are less of photos showing people ‘wasted’ with traffic cones on their heads and their bits hanging out, and more images of sunrises accompanied with motivational messages about seizing the day or being happy with who you are. The fact that many of my Facebook ‘friends’ post these types of messages may possibly be because they’re in, or quickly approaching, their thirties and are having some kind of mid-midlife crisis (which apparently now is a thing). I am aware of the irony of me pointing this out considering I’m undertaking a year of doing things I’ve never done before, but honestly I’m not having a crisis.
HELP I THINK I’M HAVING A CRISIS!
I tend not to ‘Like’ many things on Facebook, but always get a pathetic sense of gratification when someone ‘Likes’ something I’ve done; I guess that’s just human nature. I wondered what would happen if I ‘Liked’ everything for an entire day. I imagined not much would happen but the task was surprisingly daunting.
As I slowly worked my way through the newsfeed, blindly pressing ‘Like’, I feared I’d become that weird person you haven’t spoken to for ten years who for no reason ‘Likes’ a photo of you eating lunch. It was just a click of a button on my phone, but each click meant someone somewhere received a notification to say ‘Neil Foster approves of what you’re doing’ and for that one second the person would judge me about my approval.
I made foolish mistake of telling my friend Dan about the day’s task I’d set myself and, obviously, he started posting things online that I was obliged to endorse:
“Neil is a Dick” – Like (two other people also liked this)
“Like this if you’re not Neil” – Like (very frustrating)
By the end of the day I’d approved of a lot of things, and was slightly disappointed I didn’t get one word of thanks back.
In conclusion: turn off Facebook and go like the real things life has to offer (after you’ve ‘Liked’ my link to this blog)