I was booked on a flight to London from Billuand airport in Denmark. Billuand is the home of Legoland which I’d always dreamed of going to when I was a child, but sadly it was closed the day I was there – I think the Legomen must hibernate during the winter so their little plastic joints don’t freeze up.
I used to have a huge Lego city in my childhood bedroom and on each birthday I would always ask for more of the Danish built toy bricks to expand my self-built plastic metropolis. Unlike other children, who probably built their Lego sets, played with them and then smashed them up, I would simply follow the instructions carefully and then display it on top of two large tables, purposefully placed in my bedroom by my Dad, so I could just stare at it like some kind of museum piece – I’m starting to realise that as a child I may have been a bit of a loser.
I had to catch a bus to the Danish air terminal, which actually looks a bit like it’s made of Lego and was slightly fulfilling my childhood dream. As I sat on the bus it dawned on me that by the end of that day, when I finally reached my London home, I would have taken a bus, plane, underground train, overground train and caught a lift in a car. If I went slightly out of my way on the return journey and boarded the Thames riverboat and hired a ‘Boris’ bike I would have covered all forms of public transport in one day, achieving another new thing.
Obviously, as my day’s challenge was using public transport, it was doomed to fail. Typically the day I chose to fly was the day the UK air traffic control computers had shut down causing all flights to be delayed. The tannoy announcement declared, in a very casual manner, the follow message:
“Bing Bong! The flight from Billuand to London Stanstead will be delayed by five hours. Thank you”.
(No, thank you)
Commuters and tourists tutted loudly upon hearing this, but being British I found the positive in the situation – the positive always being to head straight to the bar – perfect. Unfortunately my impromptu drinking session didn’t last long enough for me to become a truly drunken English lout as they loaded us on the plane earlier than predicted, only to then leave us sitting on the runway for over an hour; I could have been in the bar all that time and that’s when I started tutting along with everyone else.
I arrived in London very late and disappointed as I wouldn’t make the riverboat in time and was going to fail. It was close to midnight and the now all too familiar panic of failing kicked in. I had to do something new, but there was nothing around me to do – this is when I friend asked if I’d ever licked a public pavement, which of course I hadn’t, but with the clock was ticking so I had no choice.
In Conclusion: A pavement tastes surprisingly metallic, also if you’re stuck in Billuand Airport make sure you’re there when LEGOLAND is open.