celebrities, school, Uncategorized

I’m a failure – now what?

failAs a child, I never idolised any famous figures apart from Dennis the Menace, but he’s a cartoon character so that doesn’t count.  I never really understood why anybody would be obsessed about somebody they didn’t know.  I’d look at old statues of very serious men with bird poo dribbling down their stony faces, wondering what was so special about them.  After starting this personal challenge I’ve realised why we, the human people, give so much admiration towards certain individuals and achievers; and how I’ll never be one of them.

I guess I was always going to fail, I suppose trying something new every day was quite a tall order, particularly for someone who has “the brains of a slug” (the words of my science teacher, although I think he was having a bad day and his comments weren’t based on fact).  However I’m not a stupid person, certainly not when compared intellectually with a terrestrial gastropod mollusc – all I am is but an average guy.

The type of average guy who says ‘I’m on a diet so I’ll have just one small piece of cake’ then ends up eating it all.

The type of average guy who has to Google another term for a slug and doesn’t just possess that knowledge.

The type of average guy who sets himself a yearlong challenge, then fails eleven weeks in, as it’s been raining solidly for two weeks, so he can’t be arsed to leave the house. I mean seriously do you know how cold it is outside? No way.

I’m that type of average guy.

I am, of course, disappointed that I failed, particularly as some accurately predicted I would.  I only missed out on one day, unfortunately that one day soon turned into two weeks (oops!) I thought about lying, just for the sake of the blog, but that seemed stupid.  Friends kept asking me how the challenge was going, I’d say ‘Really well thanks. I’ve done so many new things this week, it’s changing my life’ – liar, big fat liar, big fatty pants on fire.  So I can’t lie anymore; I, the average guy, have failed.

I realise now why we praise people who run the fastest, or write the best, or make the most money, because unfaltering perseverance and commitment to personal change is really quite something.  I once walked past celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who was filming in the street for one of his many TV programmes.  I admired the way he was jumping up and down, enthusiastically shouting at the crew, ‘Come on, let’s do this!’. I thought to myself, ‘There’s a man who has a lust for life, a great achiever, someone who embraces every moment.’…At the same time I also thought, ‘What an absolute cock!’, so I’m not overly worried that I don’t have the genes of the celebrated few and I’m, indeed, prone to failure. But the big question is: What now?

I guess I could just give up, go back to the world of laziness, day dreaming and a slow simmering undercurrent of frustration, because in a weird way that’s easier.  Yet I don’t want to – every time I tried something new, however hard or scary it was, I felt a little more alive (apart from the time I tried Cock Soup, that really didn’t help achieve anything).  I made a promise on day 59 to commit  to seeing something through, I want my word to mean something, so I guess I’ll dust myself down (or is it dust myself off, I can’t remember, off sound’s a little rude – it must be down), pick myself up and carry on for the sake of the average guy. Yes.

Besides I’ve still got to prove to that barman in the Hogshead that I DO have sparkle, if not a slightly faulty sparkle.

So on to the next 294 new things, here goes…

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celebrities, strangers, Uncategorized

…sent fan mail to a celebrity

Day Forty-six

Day 46

Janet Street-Porter

C/O United Agents Ltd

12-26 Lexington Street

London

W1F 0LE

18th December 2013

 

Dear Janet Street-Porter,

Since the 3rd November 2013 I’ve been attempting to try something I’ve never done before every day for one year.  I wanted to undertake this personal challenge in order to appreciate what life has to offer if you take constant risks, although if I’m completely honest I mainly started this because I was bored whilst trying to look for a job.

It was suggested, by a friend, that perhaps I’d never written a fan letter to a celebrity before and that I should give it a go – so this is me doing just that.  I never had a famous idol when I was growing up and have never really followed celebrity culture, but for some reason I knew immediately I wanted to write to you.

To be truthful, as a fan, I know less about your work as a journalist and editor than I probably should, my opinions are based solely from your television appearances.  I’m aware it’s probably hard to judge a person’s character from what is portrayed through the media, and perhaps a little unfair, but to me you seem like someone who’s consistently truthful to who they really are; a refreshing quality in the world of celebrity.  I feel you’re prepared to take a chance by airing your thoughts honestly, without allowing the consequences to be a major obstacle, whilst maintaining your natural wit and your unique outlook on life.

I think you’re a truly great British celebrity, even if you never set out to be one, so I wanted to take this opportunity to say I’m your fan.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Neil Foster.

 

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celebrities, Uncategorized

…taken photos of celebrities on the red carpet

Day Forty-three

I managed to gain access to the red carpet area of the annual TV awards ceremony BBC Sports Personality of Year, which was very exciting.

Below is a portfolio of some of my work.  I think you will agree my photos of the rich and famous really show the celebrities in different light – mainly an overexposed, blurry and unrecognisable light.

day 43b

There’s a celebrity in the background, God knows who it is, but I’m definitely there.

Day 43c

I decided taking selfies would not help me capture a paparazzi worthy shot, unfortunately this time there’s a big bald head in the way.  I think this of some footballer, but I don’t know anything about football.  Everyone else seemed excited though.

Day 43d

This is one of the presenters.  I recognise her, but I can’t remember her name – I’m literary the worst Photographic Journalist ever!

Day 43

This was my best photo and it’s still rubbish, despite me being about two metres away (it’s Sir Bobby Charlton, but from my photo it could be any old man)

Day 43e

This is me.  I sneaked on to the red carpet after all the celebs had gone.  Luckily the women I asked to take the picture was equally as good at photography as myself – I think it really captures the evening.

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