Health, Uncategorized

…visited a Chinese Medicine Shop, panicked and bought something I probably don’t need.

Day 16Day Sixteen

Here’s a transcript of my exchange with the Chinese Medicine Man on my first experience in a Chinese Medicine Shop (in Brighton, not China). I hope this doesn’t come across slightly racist on my part, but honestly these are the exact words:

Chinese Medicine Man: Hello sir. What you want?

Nervous Neil: Hello. I’ve never been to a Chinese Medicine Shop before, can you tell me more about it?

Chinese Medicine Man: What your problem?

Confused Neil: Sorry?

Chinese Medicine Man: What your problem?

Still Confused Neil: Sorry I don’t understand

Chinese Medicine Man: WHAT YOUR PROBLEM??

It was at this point I realised the man was not trying to start a fight with me, but more get to the bottom of my medical problem.  I guess you can’t really go into a medical shop without a medical problem. I had to think fast. I remembered I have twitching fingers on both hands, something I’ve always ignored but deep down have thought I should get checked out.

Twitchy Neil: I have twitchy fingers but there’s probably nothing you can do about it.

Holding out twitchy fingers

Chinese Medicine Man: You been drinking?

Twitchy Neil: Sorry?

Chinese Medicine Man: You been drinking?

Confused Again Neil: Pardon?

Chinese Medicine Man: You drunk?

It was at this point I realised the man wasn’t suggesting I was drunk but perhaps the twitching was from drinking in general.

Understanding Neil: Yes I drink

The Chinese Medicine Man looks disapprovingly.

Being Judged Neil: But not all the time, just a little.

Chinese Medicine Man: You have stress?

Yes, at this point I did have stress, I was starting to feel stressed.

Stressed Neil: Yes

Chinese Medicine Man: You sweat at night?

Stressed Neil: Er…yes

I don’t really sweat at night but for some reason I was panicking from the interrogation so was just answering whatever I thought he wanted to hear.  Bit stupid really.

Chinese Medicine Man: You hot at night?

Lying Neil: Yes, I suppose so

Chinese Medicine Man: Okay you take these pills

Relieved To Be Coming To End Of Interrogation Neil: Okay

Chinese Medicine Man: That’s nine pounds please

Shocked Neil: Nine pounds? Okay

The man had sold me JIA WEI XIAO YAO WAN, which is a little less catchy title for some medicine than say Nurofen or Rennie Rap-eze, apparently in Chinese it means free and easy wandering pills.  I’ll take them until they run out, or I drop down dead, and see how free my wandering becomes.