…signed up to a dating website
I’ve always thought internet dating was full of weirdos and perverts – so I gave it a try.
Match.com allows you to upload 6 profile photos, unfortunately I don’t have any of me working out or saving several orphans from a burning building, just lots of drunk photos, which is unlikely to entice the ladies.
If you wish to date me (I’m not paying for the whole meal) you’ll find me under the name neilfoster81 here: http://www.match.com
…committed to seeing something through to the end
It was New Year’s Eve. I contemplated the ten months left of this challenge and came very close to quitting. One of my Friends said “why don’t you just give in, that’s what you always do”.
Like most modern men, I have commitment issues – it’s not my fault, I blame the generation I was born into. On New Year’s Eve 2014 I made a commitment to my friends to see this through to the end and not give up on it, something I’ve never really done before.
I’m excited about the year ahead.
I’ve never shoplifted, apart from when I unintentionally stole Pick ‘n’ Mix as a child, so I thought I’d give it a go.
It’s a lot harder than it probably used to be as every shop has cameras, so I had to wait until the shopkeeper turned his back. I bought a bottle of water, whilst at the same time sneaking a Mars into my pocket – proper rebel.
Afterwards I felt completely guilty, so I’ve returned the pilfered confectionary item in post with a note apologising for my misdemeanour; I’m not quite a career criminal yet.
…listened to a meditation tape
To get the New Year off to a good start, I received a speeding ticket from the police. I now have three points on my driving license, which I’ve never had before. I was always told as kid that points mean prizes, so I’m quite pleased. In the eyes of the law I’m now three points closer to being a Bad Ass.
To help me relax after this unfortunate news I tried listening to a meditation tape, it didn’t work. It was basically just the sound of nature with a softly spoken woman saying “you’re in your secret place”.
Each time I tried to relax a really loud woodpecker kept making me jump, making my secret place quite stressful – I won’t be going back.
I don’t know much about the Freemasons, apart from that it’s a very secretive organisation – which is why I don’t know much about it.
I discovered there’s a small museum in the United Grand Lodge, their HQ in Holborn. You can visit the museum if you ask at the reception desk, but you have to sign in and they watch you closely.
The plethora of Freemason artefacts on display still didn’t really explain what they’re all about. The whole time I kept thinking, if this was a movie I’d accidentally uncover a secret, my apartment would be bugged and men with guns would start following me.
I was given a tour of the Grand Temple. It was impressive, but I was still no closer to the truth. However, to my surprise, the tour guide suggested perhaps I’d consider becoming a member; he asked nobody else in the group. He took my details and said he’d pass them on when I’m ready – if you don’t hear from for a while, then I’m being bugged and the armed men are coming.
…folded a t-shirt in 2 seconds like a Ninja
I was informed the Hare Krishna’s (or “a bunch fruit-loops” as my Nan once called them) have a service/get together on Sunday that’s good for newcomers, so I went along. I was expecting someone to greet me and explain the basics, but nobody did, so I sat on the floor in their small temple, just off Oxford Street, and tried to copy everyone else. I felt like a bit of a prat, but I don’t think anyone cared as they were more concerned with Krishna.
At one point, after lots of chanting, a large curtain was drawn to reveal some deities. Everyone stood, banged cymbals and danced; I must admit I got into a bit, despite having no idea what was going on. At the end, three hours later, they asked who was new and why they were here. I put up my hand and explained about my yearlong challenge and they all spontaneously clapped, which I felt was a very gracious, but I guess that’s what they’re all about.
On my side quest, to understand religion, I’m starting to realise gathering as a group to be selfless and share some common principles may be a very beneficial practice, but I’m still not convinced there’s a God yet. The Hare Krishnas were very lovely people; they gave me a free Indian meal, making them one up on the Christians who just offered me coffee and cake.
HARE KRSNA, HARE KRSNA, KRSNA, KRSNA, HARE HARE
HARA RAMA, HARE RAMA, RAMA RAMA, HARE HARE